The Strangeness of CCS Pairings
by Yuka Cho
Summary: well technically, this fic has absolutely nothing to do with the title. XD;;; at first it did, but as i went on with the story, it just went waaaay off course. this was just spurred out of pure boredom, and i think its good enough for any ccs-humor lovin


The Strangeness of Card Captor Sakura Pairings  
(Also known as "When the Charecters Team Up On Masako and Try To Beat Her Brains Out About  
All The Strange Couplings in Card Captor Sakura Fics While Eriol and Fujitaka Eat Ramen Like   
Happy Men.) By: Masako//TONS OF OOC-ness!!! :D IT'S WHAT I LIVE FOR.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**Topic: Eriol x Tomoyo (although this has nothing to do with it)**  
  
"Hiiragizawa, and me?!?!?!" Tomoyo is taken aback and blushes wildly, feeling the redness of her  
cheeks.  
  
"Obviously.." Ruby Moon replies.  
  
"But I love Kaho!!!" Eriol whines, plopping on the floor slamming at it with his hands.  
  
"I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS.." Yue glares. "When do /I/ get a coupling?!?!"  
  
"HEY!!" Toya screams, covering Sakura's ears. "Watch your language!!"  
  
"...Ass, you mean?" Toya nods. "It's not anything she hasn't heard before," Yue huffs.  
  
"Over-protective brothers.." Sakura mumbles.  
  
"I am /so/ not over protective, Sakura-chan."  
  
"Onii-chan.."  
  
Yue's eyes flash a devilishly and he transforms back into Yukito.  
  
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!" Yukito yells.  
  
Sakura gasps. "YUKITO-SAN!!"   
  
"YUKI!!! WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU!!" Toya screams again, thwacking his koibito in the forehead.  
  
"I-I don't know!" Yuki shuffles his feet and stares at the ground. Everybody stares.  
  
"NIKUMAN, ANYONE?" Yuki pulls out a trusty bag of nikuman.  
  
"Isn't that---- the nikuman you brought last week?" Meiling pointed to the brown bag.  
  
"Or wait-- could it be the ones he brought to Yamazaki's birthday?" Syaoran gasped.  
  
"Eww..." Sakura gags.  
  
**Topic: Syaoran x Sakura**  
  
*Various S+S fans scream and yell in the background*  
  
Syaoran blushes a deep crimson. "Uhhh..."  
  
"AWW YES, SYAORAN MY LOVE, FINALLY-- WE CAN BREAK OUT OF OUR COCOON AND SHOW   
EVERYONE HOW WE MAKE LOVE!!~" Sakura yells, jumping for joy.   
  
"OH! TOMOYO-CHAN, WOULD YOU BE A DEAR AND TAPE IT FOR US?"  
  
"No problem!" Tomoyo winks. "But why---"  
  
"VIDEO TAPE US---DOING---THAT?!?!? SAKURA!!"   
  
Toya grabs Syaoran by the collar. "So all those times you were screaming -- complaining that my  
sister stepped on your foot-- you two were--" Syaoran gulps and sweatdrops. "HELL, ME AND YUKI  
HAVEN'T EVEN GONE THAT FAR YET!!"  
  
"IT'S NOT A BAD THING IS IT?!?!" Yuki glares at Toya. "I'm not good enough for you aren't I?" He  
huffs.  
  
"No, Yuki!"   
  
"I guess you don't love me anymore, just because we haven't done IT, huh? Well, I hate you Toya  
Kinomoto, I HATE YOU!" Yuki turns around, facing the opposite direction of Toya.  
  
"Yuki!!~" Toya says in a sing-song voice. "I have RICE!!~"  
  
"NIKUMAN? I LOVE YOU, TOYA KINOMOTO, I LOVE YOU!" Yuki races up to Toya and grabs the  
bowl of rice.  
  
"Now that that's over---SYAORAN, I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY!!~" Yells Saukra.  
  
Syaoran blushes again. "Oh shit, Sakura."  
  
Fujitaka: -O_O-;;;;;  
  
"There is NO way you're having HIS baby, Kinomoto!! I'M having his baby!!" Meiling retorts. "We're  
engaged, seee?" She shoves a gold engagement ring in Sakura's face, with the engraving of the Li  
clan emblem on it.  
  
"There is only one way to settle this!" Says Yamazaki, waving his index finger in the air. "He can  
get BOTH of you pregnant!!"   
  
Syaoran: O_______________O;;;  
  
"And hey," Yamazaki grins. "He can probably do you both at the same time!"  
  
"YAMAZAKI!" Chiharu whacks Yamazaki.  
  
Fujitaka: -O_O-;; Aren't you kids too young to be talking about these sort of things??  
  
Sakura turns to her father. "Daddy, I'm 21."  
  
Fujitaka: -O_O-;;; SINCE WHEN?!?!?  
  
Sakura sighs and scratches the back of her head. "Since last year. My 22nd's in a week."  
  
Eriol grins at Fujitaka. "Don't worry, Kinomoto-san, neither of us are gonna get any older. We're  
part Clow, remember?"   
  
Fujitaka: -O_O-;; You mean--I'm gonna have to sit here in my current state and watch Sakura and  
Toya die?  
  
"Well yes, when it comes to that." Eriol sweat drops. "Yanno what'll be kinda cool? We'll be able to  
pick out their coffins!! And it won't be that sad, because its not one of those early-in-life-deaths!!  
You don't even look a day over 21!!"  
  
Fujitaka: Eriol, I /AM/ 21. -O_O-;; Sakura, have you done anything else that I need to know about?  
  
"No, Daddy, but did you know that Toya's gay?"  
  
Fujitaka: -(X)_(X)- *faints*  
  
"Why'd you have to go and tell him that now," Toya complains.  
  
"I thought he knew,"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
*In Fujitaka's uncouncious*  
  
"Nadeshiko, Toya's gay." Fujitaka looks at the ground. "And Sakura's 21."  
  
'Well yes, Fujitaka. Toya's been gay since highschool.'  
  
Fujitaka: -O_o- REALLY?   
  
'Yeah, have you ever wondered why Yukito's the only one Toya's brought into his room?'  
  
"But I swear, I've seen him bring a few giggling girls up there."  
  
'That must've been the times when Sakura brought over her friends.'  
  
Fujitaka: -O_O- I DON'T EVEN KNOW MY OWN SON!  
  
'But then again, its not that hard to mistake Tsukishiro for a girl.'  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Aa..." Syaoran sighs. "Is it over?" Suddenly, he feels something squeezing his arm. It's none other  
than Sakura.  
  
"SYAORAN!!~ COME WITH ME TO THE PANTY STORE, HELP ME PICK OUT MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT,  
OKAY???"   
  
"But I wasn't going to buy you a birthday present." He growls. "And how would I buy you a birthday  
present when you're right there with me? Don't you want to be surprised?"  
  
"It's not for me, IT'S FOR YOU!~" She sings.  
  
"Oh good lord." Something grabs his other arm.   
  
"YOU - ARE - NOT - GOING - WITH - MY - LITTLE - SISTER!!!" Toya yells into Syaoran's ear.  
  
"HELP MEEE!!~ I GO TO CHURCH EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY, GOD, SPARE MY LIFE!! I PLEAD TO YOU   
WITH THESE VIRGIN EYES!!"   
  
"You can't still be a virgin at 22 and a quarter, can you?" Eriol asks in amazement.  
  
"You're soooooo not a virgin, Syaoran." Meiling huffs, folding her arms.  
  
"It's not my fault Mother wanted us to get 'better aquainted'."  
  
Yukito: -O_O- 


End file.
